So this week began with a bang. Me and my wife got into an argument that lasted for 2 days. This was not good. It got me to a dark place that I was questioning why we even got married and had a kid. Not good. I began getting angry and stewing in that and not wanting to get out. It was easier to stay there than ask for help out. Then her father was in town because her sister had her new baby this week. Her dad knew something was up but not to the extent that it was. He took our child and told us to go to the room and hash it out. But to pray together and hold each others hand. So we went to the room an sat in silence for what seems an hour. I was weak and didn't really know what I wanted at that moment. So, we hashed it out. We talked. We cried. We even told each other how they made us feel. There were a lot of unmet expectations floating around. I stopped being the man, husband, father and leader God had designed me to be. She kept feeling neglected. We all stopped communicating and sat in our weakness not asking each other for help. Man marriage is tough. Man parenting is tough. I know someone out there is probably saying "I told you so!". And you are probably right. But why is it we feel that we need to walk through it in order to understand it? Is that stupidity or is it learning? Should we take it in when we are told those things or should we get to experience the joys and pain like every one else? Someone once told me that stupidity is not listening to the guidance given. So if someone were to say to you don't touch the stove or you will get burned, but curiously you wonder if they are for real and you touch it and get burned, are you stupid? Or is it you being curious and wanting to find out the truth by going through the fire. (no pun intended). I think it is not a good idea to say it is stupidity because the truth is we all do it. So do we say we are all stupid? Or do we say we are all fallen beings living in a fallen world which we are born depraved. I like the latter. We are evil people and we do evil things. But we aren't stupid. God has given us many guidelines to live by and rules to follow, but we all break those from time to time. But we aren't stupid, we are sinners. Two completely different adjectives that describe us. Let that sink in for a bit.
We aren't stupid, we are sinners.
How do you feel about that? Does that make you mad or relieved that you aren't stupid? If it does that is good. Or does it concern you that you are evil and a sinner? Well, Romans says it best. "For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." no one is good. But no where in the Bible does it say we are stupid. Sinners yes. Stupid no.
So back to the weak. I was weak and didn't want help. But I knew I needed it. Kind of like Jesus saving us. We know we can't save ourselves and we know we need someone to do it for us. That is where Jesus comes in. He loves us and rescues us from death. There is nothing stupid about that. And we are going to mess up along the way. It's a given. But the good thing is that once we have been saved, we are saved from everything. That is awesome. That is for the weak.
